Claimed: 2021 Year In Review
How we’re changing the world one embodied woman at a time, and why this year has affirmed two fundamental truths for me.
2021: what a year it has been!
Personally, it was huge. Not only did I grow and birth a baby, but I became a mother of two. As I did three years ago with my first baby, I am yet again going through a transformation, shedding my old skin and finding my new identity.
Professionally, I was able to do something that, unfortunately, not many business women can do: going on maternity leave for a full three months before starting to slowly ease back into it.
Trusting the team I had built to hold the Claimed vision and move it forward, I was able to step back and focus on what was most important: growing a human inside and then nourishing and sustaining her life outside.
Such a uniquely feminine journey!
This brings me to the subject of feminine/masculine polarity and how it has played out in my own marriage as I went (and still going) through this HUGE transition together with String.
Not only have we become a family of four, and thus, our roles as mother/father and husband/wife have further expanded but we’re also currently figuring out how to play the role of lovers (our priority) as time just for the two of us has become almost non-existent.
Where String has really stepped up into his masculine this time more than ever is in steering the Claimed ship and becoming its captain while I was (still am) on maternity leave.
When I had my first daughter, Zoe, the concept of feminine/masculine polarity and its importance in relationships had crystallized and became so evident that I embodied it to the fullest and started coaching other women through it.
For most women, everything changes when we become mothers. Priorities and values shift. What was important before is no longer important, and vice versa.
There is nothing more devastating than being forced to be away from your small (or even big) children so that you can provide and take care of them. But, oh, what a relief when you actually have a man by your side who takes on the role of protector and provider! Not only because he has to, but because he wants to. Because he feels (mostly) fulfilled by and proud of it.
That’s what I felt when I had Zoe.
I didn’t have to worry about any external factors that I had to think about in the past: money, survival, where we’re going to go, what we’re going to eat, etc. I could completely surrender to the experience of being a new mother, trusting and relying on my man to take care of everything else while I take care of the baby.
And look, not every woman will choose to be at home with children and let her man be the protector and the provider. (I didn’t. I chose to go straight back to work when I felt like it and wanted to.)
Choice is what matters here.
If you feel you have a choice, that your survival doesn’t depend on you working, and that you have a man by your side with whom you can exercise that choice — that is freedom and joy for a feminine essence woman.
And I experienced that freedom and joy yet again when I had my second baby three months ago.
And look, you don’t even have to be a mother to experience this dynamic. It is encoded in our DNA: to feel safe and taken care of, to trust our men to lead and to relax and let go of control.
Yet again, I had to exercise letting go and leaning back — something I teach all my clients in Claimed.
Will he be able to withstand the challenge?
Can I really trust him with all this?
Will he rise up to the occasion?
Well, as it always happens when we have strong, positive beliefs in ourselves and in our men — they do rise to the occasion.
He started waking up earlier. He started exercising more than usual. He did the work. The masculine train engine was on the go. He took care of all business matters and let me rest and recover. No business talk, nothing that would get me into “doing.” Just holding space, respecting my need for nourishment, and leaving me to completely fall in love with this baby.
What a precious gift to give to your man and to yourself!
This year has further affirmed two fundamental truths for me:
1. Polarity always exists
2. The more you lean into your feminine, the more he will lean into his masculine
So I invite you to ponder on these truths and see where you can find evidence of those truths in your own dynamics with men and how you have leaned back and let the masculine come to you and hold you in your desires, cravings, and visions for yourself.
Next, I want to share with you how Claimed has evolved this year into something that exceeded all my expectations.
I’ve worked really hard for the past year to set up structures and systems for Claimed that would allow me to step back and relax into the new motherhood journey.
I started the Claimed Group Coaching Program almost two years ago with eleven women (one of them, Barbara, has joined our team as a Sales Director), and this year it has truly blossomed into something so much bigger than me.
Not only have we been able to attract amazing women into our team who truly embody the Claimed values and vision but also the women in the program are incredibly inspiring and have taken the principles that we teach in Claimed and made it their own.
From a small seed, a vision, and a dream that I held so dearly, this body of work has evolved and matured into a beautiful garden with its own alleys and paths, with so much depth and lushness.
We’ve had 187 women join Claimed in 2021 and experience some incredible successes.
Like Emilia, whose Mr. Wouldn’t Commit turned into Mr. Gotta Have You Now. Bonnie, who took radical responsibility and has “*officially* been claimed.” And Melissa, who went from exhausted control freak to happily embodied woman (and mama). And many, many more.
Our amazing coaches, Stephanie and Camila, who have truly embodied this work and are committed to every woman’s success, are helping our clients become the best version of themselves and, as a result, attract amazing men. Committed, masculine men.
We’ve also had Khara join our team as our Content Manager all the way from South Africa who’s now helping me communicate with all of you and make sure we’re on track with our vision.
This year we have truly evolved from a group coaching program led by Anna Rova to a true “sisterhood” where there are more voices and leaders in our community, both from the team and from some of the women within the community who show up for others.
And that is what I’m most proud of. Creating a community of women who support each other and truly embody this new way of being as a Modern Feminine Essence Woman.
In short, we’re changing the world one embodied woman at a time.
And with that, we’re also changing how men show up in the world for their women, relationships, and the world. And, ultimately, we’re building a new generation of little girls and boys (raised by embodied women and their men) who enter the world with new, healthy beliefs about what’s possible in relationships and in love.
That is what we’re here for.
Contribution. Impact. Healthy Relationships.
And you are part of that for which I am forever grateful and by which I am deeply humbled.
To close this very grandiose and sentimental article that sounds like a manifesto (and maybe it is), here are some of my top recommended films, books, and podcasts that I loved reading, watching, listening to in 2021 that I wanted to share with you:
- Scenes From A Marriage — Gosh, this series is done really, really well (and I don’t say this very often). It shows reverse polarity at play and is almost excruciating to watch. Heartbreaking but so good. See my review of polarity here.
- Big Little Lies — when I first watched the pilot episode two years ago I was quite disappointed and didn’t want to continue as I thought this is all going to be about white rich women bitching about their sad lives. But Khara mentioned it was quite good (and I trust her) so I decided to give it a go and loved it. Especially the unhealthy dynamic between Celeste and Perry. And everything else: the sisterhood, the shame, the trauma. All the stuff that we, women, have to deal with. I even came to love the bitching! 😉
- The Line — a documentary that tells the story of U.S. Navy Seals and the allegations against Eddie Gallagher for war crimes. Watch to see masculinity in action as well as the toxic portrayal of it in ugly ways.
- Promising Young Woman — this movie… Oh god. Grab something strong and alcoholic and enjoy some really good displays of toxic femininity.
On Feminism & Women:
- Free Women, Free Men: Sex, Gender, Feminism, by Camille Paglia — a collection of essays from a brilliant mind, a woman who’s been called a “feminist that other feminists love to hate,” this is such an intellectually provoking read I would recommend anyone who wants to know more about where modern feminism has gone wrong.
- City of Girls: A Novel, by Elizabeth Gilbert — everyone loves a good Liz Gilbert book. This one doesn’t disappoint.
- In the Name of Gucci, by Patricia Gucci — as my interest in fashion is growing and expanding, I absolutely loved this story about Aldo Gucci’s life and love told by his only daughter, Patricia. (The House of Gucci, a movie that came out starring Lady Gaga looks quite promising as well.)
Here are my top favorite Claimed Podcast episodes from 2021 (and some of the most downloaded ones):
- Becoming Selfish, Experiencing Great Men and Getting Unstuck from “Little Girl” Energy with Samantha, Angie, and Michelle
- What is Feminine Embodiment and What Does It Have To Do With Attracting Committed Masculine Men?
- “Where Have All the Good Men Gone?” — My Interview With Elephant Journal About Dating and Relationships With Waylon Lewis
In January we will be re-releasing our top 10 most downloaded episodes from 2021 so watch out for that on the Claimed podcast!
And here are some of my favorite episodes on other podcasts:
- Bessel van der Kolk — Trauma, the Body, and 2021 On Being with Krista Tippett
- Esther Perel — The Erotic Is an Antidote to Death On Being with Krista Tippett
- Seasons as Map and Compass with Chela Davison
“A woman simply is, but a man must become. Masculinity is risky and elusive. It is achieved by a revolt from women, and it is confirmed only by other men.”
~ Camille Paglia
Looking ahead to next year
Ah, 2022! It’s coming!
The year where (hopefully) COVID will become something we just live with and we’re free to travel and live our lives as normal. (Being in Australia, we’ve been locked in since COVID started. I haven’t seen my family in over two years which, I’m sure, many of you can relate to).
I’m looking forward to two big things:
Big thing #1:
We’ve decided to double down on what matters most — the relationship we have with you. This means producing amazing value and becoming your most trusted adviser in the dating and relationship realms.
We want you to be excited about every single email we send out. We want you to implement into practice what we’re sharing and advising. We want you to be inspired by every single success story we write. We want to be proud of our work and put high-quality stuff out there. That means high-quality, useful emails and blog posts. That means awesome guests and solo episodes on the podcast.
And when you focus on something important, you have to let unimportant things go.
And so we’re letting go of social media. No Instagram, no Facebook, no TickTocks, no feed-me-some-eye-candy-caption-so-I-can-release-my-boredom stuff. See my rant here that precluded this decision as well as read Chela Davison’s (my leadership coach) post here about why she left social media.
This decision isn’t right for everyone but it’s right for us. And we’re so damn excited about this! If you’ve read this far then we know that this will affect you in some very positive ways.
This decision is scary but oh, so necessary. It brings me peace, space and room to breathe. It finally puts an end to the battle I’ve been fighting but realized I can’t win. Some will call this failure and a loss but I think it’s a massive win and, as a team, we’re willing to prove it.
What does this mean for you?
Well, nothing really. ;-) If you’ve been reading our emails, just continue reading and we hope you’ll receive more and more value with every email. If you’ve been following me on socials, we just won’t be posting anymore until we decide that it’s worth it. You can still DM us but better write us an email (email@example.com).
Big thing #2:
If you’ve joined the Claimed program, have had success, and embodied this new way of living, and are craving more, I’ve got something very exciting brewing…
It will all be announced in the first quarter of 2022 and I can’t wait to get my hands dirty again with the next level of Claimed. I can’t spill the beans yet because it’s not fully formed.
Think of this as “Claimed Next Level” for those who want to go deeper in all areas of life: men, money, career/business, motherhood, feminine leadership. It’s bringing embodiment to the next level and truly living your life with polarity, fulfillment, and joy.
Cheers to the best year yet to come!
If you have any comments or feedback, send me an email (address above) and let me know. I’d love to hear from you!
P.P.S. Here is my favorite photo from 2021 ❤