Anna Rova’s personal archive

Don’t tell me I am #drama. Just don’t.

We are allowed to cry. We are allowed to say we are tired. We are allowed to just drop on the floor when kids, work, husband and chores become overwhelming. And we are allowed to say “learning how to drive a manual car has been the most challenging thing in my life.”

And you cannot stop us…

Because of you telling me I’m drama I am scared to express my feelings…

I’m scared to feel what I’m feeling fully…

I’m scared to cry out loud, be tired, be helpless and just be a little girl who doesn’t know what to do…

Because of you telling I’m drama I have become stiff and grown BIG balls. (The same balls you hate observing in women like me.) That’s helpful but not when I’m crying inside.

See, when you tell me I’m drama I close up and feel small. I feel like I’m just bitching about nothing. Without reason, without foundation. Like I am not allowed to feel what I feel…

So many of us have closed up to you, to other men, to the world and to OURSELVES because we are told not to be dramatic.

Because of you telling me (and all the women in your life) that they are drama you are belittling us.

You are basically telling me “What’s the big deal, woman? It’s just a fucking car. Shut up, learn it and drive.” (Oh, and there is a chance that you might be thinking that I will become a terrible driver because I’m a woman. Most probably because I am feeling like this. Yeah, I said it.)

And you know what’s the funniest, most sarcastic thing of it all? You don’t realise that by calling me “dramatic” you are hurting yourself.

Let me ask you: do you want a woman who is fully in her feminine? Who is radiating joy and happiness and lets you “lead”? Do you want a woman who is free and wild and just herself? Do you want a woman who doesn’t tell you what to do and lets you be a man?

If your answer is YES to at least one of the questions above, I got news for you: this is exactly the type of a woman that you shut down when you call her “dramatic.” Because without this so-called “drama” she would not be that radiant, joyful, happy human piece of art that you want to lead, take care of and penetrate.

So keep calling me “drama” and you’ll keep attracting either masculine women and then complain about how she is not “the one” or the super feminine “peachy” women who you consider not worthy.

What’s even more interesting is that these masculine women (I’ve been there, trust me) inside are just like any other feminine woman, they just don’t know it yet. Or maybe they never will. And that’s a pity.

So next time when you see “drama” I have a piece of advice for you. Ask her the reason why she is crying/bitching/felling sad/feeling anxious. Ask her what’s wrong. Ask her how you can help.

I understand it might be hard and exhausting and you might not have time for it. Learn to understand your women. Learn to make time. Learn to let her express herself fully and be there for her.

And then... listen. Listen with understanding, listen with empathy. It will be impossible for you to emphasise, but we don’t need you to understand it fully. Just be there, nod your head and say “tell me more” just like John Gray advises. It might sound stupid to you, but trust me, I will open up to you and trust you.

See, it’s a win win. One cannot live without the other. Yin and yang, fire and water, heaven and hell. Welcome to getting to know a woman’s nature that you love and hate at the same time.

If you want to keep the woman you love, learn to embrace her curiosities and sensitive nature. Just like I’m learning to drive this fucking manual car changing gears on cross roads, slowly letting go of the clutch while pressing the gas, reading the signs and letting pedestrians cross.

A small reassuring thing: you are also conditioned to be calling me drama because of the truly dramatic women that will always be there. Those women do not know themselves well enough, they don’t know how to work with their emotions, they are unaware. And they are, unfortunately, using this to their disadvantage to gain what they want from men and the world.

I call this the “woman stuck in childhood” syndrome. And if you are surrounded by women like that it is absolutely because you are attracting that energy. If you want your women to do “non-dramatic” change your attitude to them.

And that comes with your redefining what drama is. And that, my friend, is another discussion. Because there is fine balance between a truly dramatic woman who can’t control her emotions and manipulates men and everyone else, and a self-conscious woman who fully accepts who she is and is not afraid to express her feelings, fears and tears.

I still love you and am sending you positive vibes ❤️

P.S. I passed my driving exams so watch out on the road. You never know what might be driving faster than you when you least expect it ;-)

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