Hi Laura! a beautifully written article, thank you for sharing your truth. I have just become a mother myself, and although I am working for myself, I feel and share the “baby weight.” However, I don’t see it that way. “This is the suffocating weight women bear.” doesn’t have to be suffocating if we understand and accept our roles and our biology first and foremost. Women want to have equal everything but the truth and reality is that it will never be 100% equal simply because we are biologically different. Biology is what drives our monthly cycles, reproductive systems and hormones. Men don’t go through what we go and therefore, the playing field will never be equal. What I’m saying is that the message we’ve been taught for the last 50 years of feminism is that we can do it all. Well, unfortunately (or actually, fortunately) we can’t. At least not at the same time. Even if parenting becomes a 50/50 arrangement and work-life balance will be more and more accommodating to women, it is us who will bleed every month. It is us who will give birth to children, nurse them and be connected to them in a way that no father will ever be.

On another note, have you thought about the fact that men will never experience what we experience through motherhood? They will never get to carry a baby in their bodies, give birth and create this special bond. Yes, perhaps they all say they wouldn't want to anyways but that’s not the point. Have we thought about men who stay longer hours at their jobs, work in high-risk jobs and bet more of their own lives just to provide for us when we can’t?

Anyhow, I could (and am) write about this forever. The point I am trying to make is that we, modern women, with all the opportunities and possibilities today can’t go against biology. And that is the fundamental flaw I see in modern day gender-feminism. They tell us to go achieve our dreams, demand a fulfilling career but no matter what we do, we can’t go against our natures. The sooner we accept this, the better.

What I suggest is first and foremost a change in mentality from our situations being “suffocating” to actually being liberating. I would imagine it was more of suffocation when women COULDN’T or WEREN’T ALLOWED TO work, vote etc. Now we can do whatever the hell we went but we call it suffocation because we want it all and can’t have it. I speak with many women who tell me stories that in fact they don’t want to go to work and yet they have to. For them, that is suffocation as well.

And these are my two cents. Perhaps, a different perspective to yours ;) Thanks for reading

Femininity & Relationship Coach| CLAIMED Podcast Founder & Host girlskill.com