How to Release Stuck Energy, Thoughts & Emotions and Attract Your Masculine Man
A daily feminine movement practice. Why a woman’s power is in her body & why you can’t think your way to success
A woman’s liberation doesn’t lie in her strength and independence.
A woman’s liberation lies in her relationship with her own body.
Because only when a woman is in her body fully is she free.
And it’s more than just a holistic #bodypositivity hashtag on social media.
It’s not about the shape and form.
It’s about what’s inside.
And the relationship a woman has with that inside.
The engine that runs the female body.
Below the biological functions and systems.
Below what the eye can see, quantify, and touch.
The instinctual, raw engine that runs every woman like clockwork.
And it’s not in the thinking of it either.
Thinking is slowly killing one woman at a time.
It further distances us from the depths of our souls.
We need to think less and feel more.
We need to do less and be more.
Feeling and being more will help us attract whatever we want: outrageous success, mind-blowing orgasms, and a committed partnership with a masculine man.
Because a woman’s success path is not linear and logical all the time.
Because masculine men are not attracted to a woman who is in her head all the time. He’s attracted to a woman who’s in her heart and womb more often than in her head.
A woman who doesn’t need to overthink, rationalize and intellectualize her way through everything.
That’s an avoidance strategy of the feminine. And the masculine is repelled by it.
You can’t think your way through sex.
You can’t think your way through conception.
You can’t think your way through pregnancy and childbirth.
And you definitely can’t think your way through a relationship and marriage (eavesdrop on any marriage counseling therapy session and you’ll see what I mean.)
Let him do the thinking of where your relationship is going.
Your job is to be.
Be in your full feminine glory.
Men love women who laugh at their jokes, dance their bodies freely and give them the gift of their feminine presence.
Who are not worried or trying to control the outcome.
A woman who is connected to her body is the biggest magnet for masculine men.
When a woman is in her body, she is here and now and not in some distant future where he will finally propose.
Or in some sweet lost past when he didn’t propose.
In fact, when a woman is in her body she doesn’t really obsess about whether he’ll propose or not because she has plenty of options.
She is radiant.
She is self-aware.
She is juicy.
She is full.
She is here and now.
She is alive in the most feminine way — she flows with life and with her own being.
She has flavor. She has created a unique blend of her own spice.
Her eyes are bright.
Her body is robust.
Her energy is seductive.
Sex with such a woman is an experience you never forget.
She’s open. Raw. True.
You can’t stop but want to be around her.
And that’s why a woman’s true, raw success comes from her own joy & pleasure.
Ever saw these women who have it all and are so in love with life and themselves that it’s almost repulsive?
That’s the woman I’m talking about.
She is almost impossible to bear for us, regular mortal women because she has what we all want and we’re wondering how the hell she is pulling it off.
She’s not a workhorse; she’s a wild horse.
This is what I mean when I talk about the lie of female success. The lie is that a woman has to work like a horse to get what she wants to succeed.
A woman isn’t build to work hard like a machine for years and years and then reap the rewards.
It doesn’t work this way if you’re in a female body.
What makes a masculine body stronger, resilient, and more attractive as years go by is the opposite of what makes a woman have the same qualities.
Because after long years of running on masculine engines of hard work, constant struggle, and push, a woman becomes a withered version of herself.
She becomes tired, and in a lot of cases, bitter.
And such a woman is the opposite of flow.
The opposite of attractive.
An old soul that doesn’t even know what joy is anymore. A long-forgotten version of herself who doesn’t know how to be in her body.
All she knows is pushing hard, proving, and demanding.
All she knows is that she has focused on her career or business for the last decade (of her primal years) and now when she has everything she has ever wanted…
When she has finally arrived…
She doesn’t understand why she’s falling asleep alone every night…
Her reproductive system isn’t at full potential anymore and her zest for life starts to diminish.
Her lines are sharper than before.
She has lost the capacity to play and think outside the box.
Her body is weary. Her body is rigid. Tightly contained.
And a woman can’t live in a tight container.
She needs to flow and play.
She needs to roam free.
A wild horse free in her own body.
Juicy. Full. Radiant.
That wild creature knows her power.
She’s seen what this power can do.
She knows what her breath can evoke.
What the tip of her tongue can arouse.
What the gentle thrust of her hips can create.
She can have it all.
He will give her everything.
You and he know the power you’ve got.
Use it wisely and let him think through the next steps.
A woman connected to her body and her sexuality is powerful beyond measure.
And it takes great courage, responsibility, and integrity not to abuse this power.
Just like it takes great courage, responsibility, and integrity for men not to abuse their power of muscles and success.
It’s a two-way street.
It’s a pull-push force.
Women have just somehow forgotten their part in the power game.
So let’s stop playing this victim game.
Let’s get our power back by learning how to have a positive relationship with our bodies, our boundaries, and our wild power.
Because it’s not in the thinking of it.
The Forgotten Skill
The feminine instinctually knows all the answers but she is so disconnected from that intuitive sense that she doesn’t know how to hear her “YES” and “NO” and has no idea how to access it.
She knows that she knows but doesn’t know how to navigate the complicated terrain of decision making, planning, and attracting a compatible mate.
And the good news is that women are equipped with this knowledge from birth because this is how we have learned to survive.
Generation through generation.
We had to adapt and mold into the dangerous, often unpredictable environments, carrying children on our backs and chests, finding ways to protect, nourish and feed them and ourselves.
We had our tribe of women who had our backs.
We had the village.
We had to find ways to “see” without seeing, “hear” without hearing and “smell” without smelling.
Together with other women.
I know you know what I’m talking about because you sense this within yourself.
And it’s a skill that has simply been forgotten. Because we didn’t need it anymore.
Because we started to build walls and start fires to protect ourselves from predators and cold winds. Because we invented electricity, medicine, and the infrastructures that would support us in our needs. Because we created the internet, social media, and devices to tell us everything we need to know.
But in this external, artificial “knowing” we have tuned down our own instinctual knowing.
So we need to relearn this very necessary skill because no Siri or Alexa can tell you whether you should marry this guy, pick this job or invest in this program. Only you know. And you do know — you just need to relearn how to access this truth.
One of the most common issues I see in my work with women is that they don’t know how to trust themselves to pick the “right” option. They don’t know how to listen to themselves and access that intuitive knowing that can’t be accessed through the head.
Women are deeply instinctual creatures that have access to infinite reservoirs of wisdom that don’t come from their heads. This wisdom lives in their instinctual knowing, in their sensual powers to sense, see and feel further than what the eye can see in front of itself.
The body is always acquiring and processing information from the outside world. It works so fast that we don’t even notice it is what governs our survival behavior and mechanisms.
”Psychologists usually try to help people use insight and understanding to manage their behavior. However, neuroscience research shows that very few psychological problems are the result of defects in understanding; most originate in pressures from deeper regions in the brain that drive our perception and attention. When the alarm bell of the emotional brain keeps signaling that you are in danger, no amount of insight will silence it.”
― Bessel A. van der Kolk, The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma
Afraid of processing emotion?
Too much to bear?
Going for the sugar, for the cigarettes, alcohol, sex to patch it all up?
Escapism is our disease. We don’t know how to sit with emotions. Negating the part of ourselves that most scares us. We are afraid to feel. And thus, we become numb. Numb to pain but also numb to pleasure.
The Happiness Trap
Just like so many of us, I was very happy and willing to embrace the happy and positive feelings and thoughts.
I mean, just look at my social media feed a couple of years back.
It was full Instagram worthy photos by the pool or some Latin American country with an impressive amount of likes.
But deep down inside I was lost.
I was a huge fan of the law of attraction, Abraham Hicks, and all the other modern personal development self-help books.
These books mostly focus on making ourselves feel a certain way (mostly positive) so that we attract what we want from that positive vibration.
“Thoughts create things”
“You create your own reality.”
And I believe that’s the missing piece in the #positivity movement and modern self-help.
This “happiness trap” is causing us to keep avoiding “negative” feelings by numbing out and not wanting to feel.
But life is full of ups and downs and of negatives and positives.
In fact, let’s not even call them negatives and positives.
It’s just life.
Someone hurts our feelings.
We don’t get that promotion.
A family member dies.
But instead of allowing ourselves to embrace the full emotional spectrum and finding the tools to successfully process, feel and release tension and constriction, we numb out and run away.
Feeling bored and lonely?
Light up a cigarette or a joint.
Get a drink.
Feeling abandoned and miserable?
Jump on your bike and go for a ride.
Call up a boyfriend, get high, and have sex.
Feeling down and unloved?
Sugar is the answer! A bit of cake doesn’t hurt anyone.
These were my escape mechanisms.
On good days, when I was in “the vortex,” I was on top of a mountain slaying goals and to-do lists sharing away my happiness on my social media.
Forgetting that where there are highs, there will be inevitable lows.
It’s a constant pendulum of ups and downs.
Like the ocean, we have internal emotional tides, and our waves eventually break.
And my waves broke constantly.
I wasn’t flowing. I was numbing out.
Because it was painful and I didn’t want to feel it.
And I didn’t have the necessary tools to help me navigate this complicated emotional terrain of life.
“The more we try to avoid the basic reality that all human life involves pain, the more we are likely to struggle with that pain when it arises, thereby creating even more suffering.”
Russ Harris, “The Happiness Trap: How To Stop Struggling And Start Living”
And that is the slight issue with all the self-help and new age personal growth. They teach us that we have to control our emotions by feeling good and positive all the time leaving us miserable and unequipped to deal with the whole 50% of the emotional spectrum.
Thus, we avoid feeling negative and do whatever we can in order to escape it in hopes that it will pass fast. And it definitely passes faster while we engage in alcohol, drugs, and rock ’n roll.
The problem is that it’s a vicious cycle that never stops. If you’re having a particularly bad day, week, or month — you end up numbing out even more and desensitizing further, negating a vital, essential part of yourself. Your whole 50% of the emotional spectrum.
And the other problem with this approach to dealing with feelings is that because we don’t allow ourselves to feel fully the whole emotional spectrum our moments of joy are equally numbed out and filtered.
In order to experience life and what it has to offer fully, we need to be open and present to the whole emotional spectrum.
And we need tools to help us manage to go through that.
The Solution — A Feminine Movement Practice
“Wait, so the point is not to always feel good?!” I still remember asking in amazement during feminine embodiment coaching training.
“No, not really. The point is to merge with what you’re feeling.”
So how do we do this?
The feminine needs to flow and move. She can’t stay rigid for too long.
She needs to process, feel and release frozen tension that accumulates in her body day in and day out.
We all know the benefits of meditation: increased concentration, presence, and cultivation of the state of flow.
We all know the benefits of yoga: increased flexibility, muscle strength, peace of mind.
However, meditation and yoga are masculine practices characterized by consciousness, presence, emptiness and discipline, structure, direction, goal.
I love yoga and meditation and I do it all the time but these masculine practices are missing the essential feminine element: free movement and flow.
This type of movement doesn’t have direction or structure. It is not concerned with building muscles, having a goal, or following a certain sequence.
It wants to flow freely; exploring and smoothing out the edges, filling in spaces that want to be filled, and releasing frozen tension and stuck energy.
I first learned about this practice during my Feminine Embodiment Coaching Certification with Jenna Ward and have done it every day since then.
It has changed my life and the way I deal with my emotions.
I now have the tools not to jump up and down along the emotional spectrum.
Instead of numbing out, I go into what it fully.
It’s painful at times.
But I know I’ll be okay.
This practice runs much deeper than simply “dealing with life.”
It has the potential to liberate stuck and frozen tension in all areas of life.
It can help us heal deep wounds and magnetize whatever we want.
This practice has been ESSENTIAL for my well-being and happiness as a feminine woman.
I’m also teaching this practice to all of my coaching clients and they report incredible results as well…
It has become our go-to tool for processing and releasing emotions, accepting ourselves, and letting go. Embodying and magnetizing what we want. And simply being in the flow of our feminine energy and life.
Here are the benefits you will experience once you implement this daily practice into your life:
- Releasing frozen tension from the body you didn’t even know you had
- Lower the volume on avoidance strategies like intellectualization, rationalization, and overthinking
- Getting to the heart of the problem and uncovering the layers of stuck energy in the body
- Sensitizing the body. Starting to listen and tune into what you want
- A daily ritual of self-care
- The feminine practice of meditation
- A tool to process emotions, let go and surrender, play with archetypes, attract what you want in life
- Find your embodied boundaries: when to say “NO” and when to say “YES
- and many more…
Start on your hands and knees.
Feel the contact with the floor.
Notice your breath.
Notice how you feel today.
Notice what thoughts you’re having.
Start moving your body to the rhythms of the music.
Move what you feel.
Move what you think.
Let your body lead.
Start with small movements and gradually move on to big movements.
Start on your hands and knees and move into other shapes.
Let your body flow.
Move your body to at least one song a day.
- This is not a dance. There is no sequence to this movement. It is uniquely yours. Don’t try to emanate someone else or some sequence of moves. Just move. Move your hips. Move your head. Move your arms and hands. Move your legs and feet. Just move. Continue moving.
- Involve all 4 pillars of embodiment:
- Awareness: be aware of your body.
- Breath: don’t forget to breathe and connect to it.
- Sound: release sound as often as you can. Moan. Growl. Sigh out.
- Movement: keep moving in big or small ways.
3. Experiment with different flavors and textures of your movement and music (a playlist is provided below.)
4. Create Playlists. As you do this practice you will start noticing patterns emerge. You might also work on something specific: process grief of losing a boyfriend or wanting to attract that new job opportunity. Create a playlist on Spotify and name it, for example, “Letting Him Go.” They add songs to that playlist that help you process that and keep moving for as long as necessary. Then move on.
5. Watch out for symbols, archetypes & metaphors that come out during your movement and during the day. Bring it into your practice and create playlists around that symbol. Add this symbol to your daily life. Put it on your altar. Really tap into the energy of it and try to feel it with all your senses.
6. Allow yourself to feel it fully. Merge with the pain. Merge with the grief. Merge with the anxiety. Ask yourself “how would anxiety have me move?” And then move it. Same with all the “positive emotions.”
7. Don’t overthink it. Don’t judge it. Just move and do the practice. There is a lot here that you don’t need to understand. The feminine just flows. So just flow. Allow yourself to just be without the need to have a theory or know how it works. Play ❤
Resources & Inspiration
(Note: these are examples of movement practices that are unique to me. Yours might look completely different and that’s okay. You have to find your unique flavor and flow.)
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