Letter To My Younger Wandering Self — My Inner Girl Story

I am here to tell her that she is loved. I am here to tell her that it’s going to be okay. I am here to assure her that she will make it, that she will push through. I know that it will be a while until she hears these words from anyone.

I am her. I am the grown woman she’s turned into 20 years later. But she doesn’t need to know that. Not yet.

Suddenly everything has turned upside down. Mom is gone. She hasn’t fully understood what has happened. A long time will pass until she understands. Maybe when she’s already a grown woman.

I decide to be that person for her, now that I have lived and I know what will happen in 20 years. It’s awesome but she doesn’t know that. The only thing she needs to know and feel is that she is loved.

I hug her and I hold her. Tight. I hold her until she feels safe. Until she feels like she can trust me. It’s a tough thing for a little girl to trust anyone after the world had betrayed her in such a cruel way.

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I tell her to close her eyes for a moment and imagine that it will soon be over and she will be okay again. After she had reassured herself that she will be okay, she will need to make a decision and act. Firmly and with confidence.

I tell her to remember that whenever she feels like running away she should know that there is a place she can always call home no matter where she is.

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Here she will always be welcomed. Here she can be who she wants to be.

I also tell her that the real world will sometimes feel dark and unfair. She will get soaked in the rain and her shows will feel wet. I tell her that there will be lots of hard work. There will be tears, there will be suffering.

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I tell her that she will go through it all. I tell her that she will come out strong. That it will all come true, she just has to wait and see.

I tell her that no one else will take better care of her than she will. I tell her to always remember to put herself first and no, that’s not selfish. That’s self-preservation.

I tell her to enjoy the rollercoaster ride and be present all the way.

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Anna Rova

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