Limbs Tangled He Wrapped Me Up and Claimed Me Even In His Sleep

My old feminist self had no clue what she was missing — Nikki’s story

This is a share from my private client group from a woman who has shared her “I Got Claimed” story. (Shared with author’s permission.)

“Who’s ready for a Nikki novel (aka absurdly looooong post) with a little bit of everything — magnetism, polarity, men as mirrors, limiting beliefs, wins, and plenty of TMI juicy details? Aaaannnnd (deep breath, drum roll …) how I’ve been #claimed! Thought not at all how I would’ve expected, because I could not have anticipated that a man like this even existed.

I’ve postponed writing this because I wrote a claimed post once before, when I dated my ex again in April/May, and was “wrong” about it a week later. He was not the man for me. When I revealed the intensity of my spiritual/mystical side to him, wanting to be my full self with my partner, he ran away scared.

That was so hard for me. I kept thinking, “Holy shit! If the man who’s known and loved me and been my best friend for TWENTY YEARS is scared of me dropping fully into my burgeoning psychic/intuitive powers, how the hell am I supposed to DATE men who don’t know me AT ALL??”

I began to funnel again anyway. I put a little blurb on my Hinge profile about how I make all decisions intuitively and am obsessed with astrology, as if I could point back to that to defend myself later so they wouldn’t feel tricked, already anticipating that all men would freak out the way my ex did.

Most of the men treated it as a fun joke, asking me to read their astrology to know if they were compatible with me. And I did read their charts, and their hearts and souls hahaha, and while they were good men, each masculine in a different way that taught me a lot about what traits I wanted (I collected a list of my favorite features haha and kept mystically using those to tell the universe what I wanted), they were for sure not up for dating a priestess archetype LOL. I could tell even when they didn’t know it themselves.

Because that’s what I finally had to own: my wild woman is a priestess — a mystic queen. Anything else I tried to be felt small and inauthentic. But again, how the fuck do you DATE as that?!!!

I went through the grief of letting my ex go completely after he left me stranded in Chicago in early June and blamed it on me because he’d heard I walked around the lake talking with a guy. OMG. The best part: he heard about it from his affair partner. Eyeroll. But it finally forced me to see that he was never going to let her go. I was being a fool. I cried my tear ducts dry, wanting to rid myself of any lingering hurt and BE DONE.

A week later I woke up and told the universe I was ready for someone better — ready for a man I deserved. I pulled tarot cards and got that he would be a magician and with him I could be an emperor/empress. Also, I’d had my trusted psychic friend tell me in January that the man who would show up for me within the next six months (so, by July) would have some connection to London. In addition, I’d dreamed of him in January and knew our sexual connection was gonna be INSTANT. I called to him that morning: “Okay, whoever you are. I’m ready for you.”

Um. The story’s about to get weird. Ready???

RIGHT THEN a Hinge notification came through on my phone that a new guy had liked my profile. Rather than liking a photo, he’d liked my blurb about astrology. His profile was super sparse. It didn’t tell me whether or not he had kids or any of his interests or much at all besides a few key things: his name was Kevin, he’d been born in London, he was 6’0” and 47 (somehow I’d become very sure I needed those features: I’m 5’7” and 40, and that height and age difference had felt the best to me when funneling).

I had a rule for myself that I wouldn’t respond to a guy only “liking” my photos; if he didn’t also start a conversation, I wouldn’t match with him. But how could I NOT respond to the coincidence of the timing, the London connection, his height and age, etc?? So I decided the loophole was that he had responded to the astrology blurb rather than a photo hahaha. I matched with him and messaged nonchalantly, “From London? I’m headed there next month (my first time!) to visit my sister who moved there recently. How long have you been here?”

You guys. Within two of his texts after that I knew he was mystical too. Within days of just messaging (multiple loooong-ass messages from each of us back and forth; he writes novels like me hahaha), he was telling me he could tell that I’m a PRIESTESS. He’s the one who sensed it and told me and wanted to know if I was even aware of it myself. I laughed in absolute disbelief.

That weekend I flew down to Arizona for my cousin’s wedding and to be with my dad for Father’s Day, so it was impossible to meet up with him yet, but oh god how I savored every message from him and noticed my body responding to his words and the energy of our connection. I noticed that I HAD to drop into my body to even be able to respond to him; if I was anything less than authentic, he was immediately aware of it. He knew me better in a single week and before we’d even met in person than my ex had known me in twenty years. WTF??

The next Wednesday, when it was finally time for us to meet in person, I was so keyed up all day long. No matter how much I flowed, I couldn’t shake how nervous I was that the texting connection might not hold up in person — that I might end up disappointed. I had gotten super good at being cute and playful and feminine on first dates with everyone else. I’d put on my cutest clothes and feel invincible. With him, I felt so naked, no possible way to hide behind clothes or makeup or anything else.

And yet I also chose my outfit intuitively: a wrap skirt with a very high center-front slit and black deep-vee top. My intuition told me I’d be having sex with him that night. (Told you this novel has a bit of everything hahaha.)

I met him at a hole-in-the-wall Vietnamese place. I sat across from him so intimidated as he told me stories from all over the world, how he’d studied spirituality in India and spent two years on Mt Shasta etc etc. I couldn’t pinpoint why my body felt uncomfortable — like whether it was limiting beliefs of “I am not enough” (yep, a bit) or something about him or something else. But I didn’t feel any red flags from him at all, not one, so I just tried to stay in my body and be ok in the discomfort. The message I kept getting was that I wanted to leave — but with him.

The moment we stepped out of the restaurant, we both exhaled deeply. It was the energy of the restaurant that had felt off!!! We both felt it intuitively but hadn’t been able to pinpoint it until we walked outside!

Well, I was thinking maybe he’d invite me to his place at that point, but then he dropped the bad news that I hadn’t even thought to look up from his profile: he lives an hour away! We couldn’t go to my place because my kids were home. We settled on a nearby park. He spread his jacket on the ground under a tree for us to sit on. I snuggled right into him as we sat and watched the sunset. Both of us could have sat there FOREVER. It was like time stopped mattering. We talked about everything, just like in our texts, a total flow of authenticity. His arm was around me, his other hand on my leg. Everything in my body felt so at home with him like that.

Yeah, it didn’t take long before we were having sex in the back of my car in the parking lot. And I had ZERO regrets.

Afterward, we stood in the parking lot in a never-ending hug, swaying softly as he held me and we kept talking. I’d told him I have spirit guides, and he asked how they were reacting to us having sex. Now, I’d never truly seen and heard my guides before; they’d always just give me certain signs to let me know what I needed to know. But once he asked the question, I got this image in my mind of a group of people cheering with hands in the air!! I giggled into his shoulder. And then the mic-drop moment: “They’re cheering, aren’t they?” he said. HE COULD SEE THEM TOO!

This was middle of June. Ladies, I can’t even tell you how hard it became to funnel after that. NO ONE ELSE HAD ANY HOPE OF COMPETING WITH HIM. But I did. I continued on dates with a fun ginger-bearded 6’2” guy who adored me and showered me with compliments and felt fun to be around, and I accepted more first dates so I’d have the rule of thirds covered. Kevin had told me he wasn’t dating anyone else, hadn’t been for a while, felt like it wasn’t worth his time because he refused to connect to anyone who couldn’t go deep enough with mysticism etc. I kept funneling anyway. I paid attention to the contrasts of how I felt with him vs other guys. I noticed that with other guys I still had a sense of “control” in that I could very easily “win” them over with cute clothes and playful flirty banter etc, but it felt false. I noticed that I actually WANTED a man who could see my soul and take charge of me.

At the same time, Kevin was NOT the clear winner in terms of ease of being with him. Because he saw the real me and saw through any of my masks or bullshit, I couldn’t hide behind my own illusions and coping mechanisms, so my limiting beliefs that I thought I’d dealt with would come straight up to the surface. The dates we’d go on, including an overnight backpacking trip or him staying the night at my place, were always like our first date where there’d be something way off that we’d have to intuitively figure out and work through rather than just cute fun flirty dinner convos LOL.

Psychically, I felt that I needed to keep funneling until my London/Madeira trip July 5–16 and that everything would become clear after that. But I also felt the total surrender of not having a clue how someone like Kevin would “claim” me when he doesn’t talk in normal girlfriend/boyfriend DTR-style lingo at all hahaha.

When I left for Europe that Tuesday, we had a funneling-level relationship still. I was still flirt-texting with the 6’2” ginger, promising to send him pics from my trip. By Sunday night, I was staying up for hours until 2am on the phone with Kevin on my sister’s London balcony because of the time difference + waiting until everybody in the flat was sleeping, and Kevin might as well have been right there with me. I’d never felt a long-distance connection that intensely, and the way he claimed me that Sunday — describing how I am everything he’s wanted in a partner and more, how he wants to be my ambassador to shout to the world how amazing I am, how he’s been doing his own work for years and years to be ready for me, how he’s lived all over the world searching for a place that felt like home and telling me “YOU ARE HOME,” how he was scared to want me too much if I might leave him but now he was ready to call me his — sent the universe’s most delicious shivers through me one after another. Like, orgasmic-level claimed and he wasn’t even with me!!

From then on, he began using possessive pronouns in every text: “my lovely,” “my lady,” “my queen,” etc. AHHHH! Yeah, my old feminist self had no clue what she was missing. Polarity is the sexiest feeling in the world!

We continued our phone calls and texts all week, even while I was literally sharing a hotel bed with my friend Josh in Madeira (but no sex, totally platonic). Kevin knew but never even brought it up. I asked him after and he said he just dealt with the jealousy on his own and trusted me — so different from my ex who couldn’t even handle me walking/talking with a guy around a lake!!

He insisted on picking me up from the airport that Saturday at midnight. I expected him to be waiting in his car at the curb, because that’s how I’ve always been treated by everyone in my life, from parents to grandparents to husband. No, he was there early, standing inside right outside security, as close as he could get to me, and when I called him as I walked from my gate he got really sweetly impatient like “Can you run please?” Being Black, he often uses phrases like “Get your ass over here” and I’m shocked at how good it feels to be that wanted.

He drove me home and stayed the rest of the weekend with me until he left at 6am Monday to get to work. There was some awkwardness, as I’m not as sure of being feminine when a man is in my space, but it was still wonderful.

Then Monday and Tuesday my LBs hit big time. A whole onslaught. I became convinced for no reason that he was gonna leave me. I retreated emotionally from him, knowing I needed to work on myself, but of course he could tell.

After those texts, I did as he suggested and wrote down every LB surfacing. There were more than 18 of them! And then I worked through the module 2 worksheet again and did the guided LB flow. The absolute full-body cringe of the LBs was some of the strongest body sensation stuff I’ve felt through the whole Claimed program so far. It was intense! But I kept going, determined to feel and welcome all of it. It was the most productive flow I’ve ever done: 18 LBs all reframed at once into “I CAN BE ENTHUSIASTICALLY MYSELF NO MATTER WHO I’M WITH BECAUSE I AM MY MOST IMPORTANT RELATIONSHIP.”

That night I didn’t have my kids because my ex wanted them overnight for some reason. I felt I should ask Kevin if I could drive up to see his place. I wanted to see him better by seeing where he lives and also to see how it would shift the polarity if we weren’t in my space. He instantly agreed and I got some great “Get your ass over here” texts.

Through that hour car ride, I put on my best most dropped in + surrendered music and flowed as I drove. By the time I got to his place, I felt the most feminine, free, fun, flirty I have ever been in my life! He met me in the parking lot of his complex with a huge grin and hug and kiss. When he took my hand and led me up three flights of steps to his apartment and offered me water, I playfully sat on his counter and just basked in how good it felt to surrender to my wild woman. He noticed instantly, grinning and saying, “Where did you come from?”

Yeah, didn’t take long before my full surrender was put to extremely good use. When Anna talks about how good it feels to be ravaged, um YEAH IT DOES. Polarity WIN!! And I stayed in that blissful, beautiful feminine mode all night long, limbs tangled as he wrapped me up and claimed me even in his sleep. I’ve never been able to sleep that way before, always needing perfect conditions with space from my partner and with exactly three pillows and with the bedding aligned just so, but with him it’s all so different and we shared one pillow and I couldn’t sleep without him holding/touching me.

It’s like that night at his place really cemented the polarity in a new way. ….POLARITY IS EVERYTHING.

He’s making plans to take me all over the world, from Japan to the pyramids to road trips to the Grand Tetons to more camping/backpacking next weekend. He’s getting to know my kids already just from what I tell him and what he senses about them, readying himself to step into whatever they need from him even though I haven’t introduced him to them yet. (He doesn’t have kids of his own.)

And most importantly, he points me back to myself over and over again. He won’t settle for less than my full authenticity with him. He will sense things about me that I’ve hidden my whole life and he will say, “I’d like more of that side of you please,” like my dark kinky side or my shit-talking side etc.

My ex was nowhere close to being my CMM. Ladies, I am blown away.”

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