Michael, I understand your frustration and I see your point. If I may comment on your response again, in assumptions, I would tell you that you start by giving 2 examples of women you would date and who would like to be trated “as equals” and then “not really equals.” See, this is putting it all on them again.
What do you want? It seems like you’re fine with both scenarios (which to me is a bit hard to juggle and adapt to every time.) You mentioned that you’re inclined to having a more traditional role in a relationship where you find joy and pleasure in courting a woman, being a provider and protector (so many men do but they’re wither not aware of it or have to apologise for it so kudos to you for acknowledging it!) So if you prefer this dynamic and you are still attracting the women who show up in sweatpants on a date and expect everything of you, I’d think again why you are attracting these women. Why are you going out with them? Why are you asking them out? I understand you can’t really tell by the first date or at a first glance but once you notice this undesirable behaviour, you move on. See, I understand that you are trying to “educate” these women on the issue but you will be trying forever. A woman has to come to this sort of awareness in a relationship through her own personal growth journey (like me) or through upbringing, not through conversations with you. I believe that initially, the dynamic will be established and the as the relationship develops, the roles will be defined.
So, if I may suggest, focus your energy on what you want in a relationship, what kind of woman you want (as you mentioned they do exist, trust me!) and you will meet her. Women who understand this dynamic either intuitively or through education (in my case it was education and then intuition followed) will be attracted to your vibe. Another thing I would also like to point out is that I see you “expecting” something in return for your courting and protection, which makes absolute sense. However, a man who gives fully is a generous man who just gives without expectations. I read this in David Deida’s “The Way of the Superior Man” (highly recommended read btw!) So if I would be dating you I think I would feel better his strange “what do you bring to the table?” attitude and I would be appalled by it. not because I don’t have anything to give but because the expectation is there. It’s like you’re testing my worth and assessing my part in the game. See, as a man who identifies with a masculine essence (again, David Deida’s words) you are attracted to the feminine essence. The feminine energy leads with her heart and her intuition, she is full emotion, creativity. She fills in the space, your heart and and your head. The scent of her perfume gives you butterflies. A woman who knows her value is worth just being around because she inspires you and motivates you to give. That’s the dynamic. So there is no need for her to even tell you what she brings to the table. You feel it and you want to be around it forever.
This is the type of woman I suggest you focus on. There is plenty out there!!