Rachel Cooke first up, thanks so much for taking the time to read! ❤ To answer your question, I would first ask — what kind of a relationship (if any) do you want with a man? You write “women can take care of all of our own physical and emotional needs through ourselves, our (all/any gender) friends, our work and our community.” If this is true for you, then why want a relationship with a man at all? I would be curious to read your thoughts on this.

I do not see this approach to creating such a partnership/relationship with a man as a massive sacrifice on our part. On the contrary — I see it as releasing ourselves from the pressure to control him and let him do what he is meant to do: pursue his mission, be free, take care of us, protect and provide — and focusing on ourselves instead. It is about understanding each other’s needs and desires in a relationship. It is not about giving more of us so that he can feel free. It is not about pleasing a man so he can have peace. It is about understanding his need and quest for freedom and letting him be free so that he chooses you every day and so that he is free in a relationship (just as you are.) I see so many women holding on to control because they fear the version of themselves that lets go of control. It is about letting go and letting him lead. Here is my other article on this subject: https://medium.com/girlskill/let-him-lead-day-xx-of-99-days-of-wander-1266de4df30e

But then, of course, we come back to my initial question: do you want this type of a relationship and this type of a man who is in his masculine? If the answer is NO, then it’s all good — you do what works for you. Are your needs a woman fulfilled in a different way? If the answer is YES, then awesome. Nothing to “fix” here. BUT if there is something that is missing… If you do not feel like you respect and trust your man (or men in general)… If you find yourself attracted to men who are “masculine” and take charge but can’t seem to trust them, then I would be searching for a different way.

P.S. In my free training here I explain this in more detail if you’re interested: girlskill.com/webinar