It’s all messy.
I can’t see.
It’s all blurry.
I can’t hear.
It’s all complicated.
Too many words on paper.
Too many thoughts in my mind.
Too much to think about and to take care of.
How do I navigate this?
How do I make this work?
I gotta trust and keep going.
What is my fear?
That it will not work out?
I’ve been here too many times.
In the end, it all works out.
It’s a process.
A path to walk.
A journey to experience.
I have taken the call.
I have accepted the challenge.
It’ messy and dark.
The terrain is unknown?
Where do I find the tools and resources?
How do I feed myself?
How do I find shelter and water?
Where do I look at first?
I’m a baby.
I don’t know how to do this.
I am afraid of crumbles.
It’s like I’m starting from the beginning.
Fuck, it’s painful.
It’s like everything I’ve done so far doesn’t matter.
(I know it does. But not today.)
Who is this new me with this new message?
It’s not really new, is it?
Anna.
You got this.
Do I?
Who the fuck knows.
Gosh, it’s so UNCOMFORTABLE.
Well, get used to discomfort.
Discomfort is your new best friend.
If you’re comfortable you’re complacent.
And you never want to stagnate and become complacent.
That’s death. That’s stagnation.
That’s a dry well.
That’s a dry vagina.
No life. No passion, No flow.
I have become very comfortable in my message —
The Lie of Female Success.
I knew it inside out. I could breathe and sleep the message.
I was so passionate.
I still am.
But now the wind is blowing from the other side.
From the West.
Or East.
It doesn’t matter.
The wind is blowing and I gotta put up my sailboat.
And what? Blindly follow and trust?
Trust the lift, the drag, the angle of attack.
What is the compass showing me?
How do I find the North Star?
What do I follow?
The compass is my inner truth.
My curiosity. My voice.
I gotta trust myself.
And I gotta trust the ocean.
The waves are going to take me where I need to go.
The underwater world will create the conditions for me to go full speed.
But will I crash?
Will my inner pirates sabotage me?
How will I know I am not the right track?
There are no stars to guide me. There is no compass.
Or are there?
I have the tools and resources.
I have it all.
I’ve been here before.
I just gotta sail and trust.
Sail and trust.
Trust and sail.
Believe.
Hope.
Have faith.
Faith will take me there.
Faith in the message.
Faith int the women.
Faith in myself.
I will be a success.
I will arrive.
Not sure how the destination will feel like.
Will I ever arrive?
At my next milestone, I will.
Because I deserve it.
Because I am ready to conquer this.
Ride the wave.
Surf it. Become one with it.
Use the force. Use the energy of the ocean.
Work with it.
Merge with it.
Through movement, through writing, through doing the work.
Sweet success will come my way.
The ocean will bring it.
Trust.
Faith. Hope.
Sail up and here we go!
