I’ve come to a profound realization, of sorts.
When you lean back, you let the right men come to you.
When you lean back, you let the men who are really interested come to you.
When you lean back, you start to become curious and observant about the men you’re attracting.
You see, most women apply this “go-go-go” mentality when it comes to dating because they’re so used to being in the “go” (masculine energy) when it comes to work and material success.
Applying the same principles, they think they need to go “get the guy” or “go after him,” which is a completely wrong approach.
This kind of approach to dating is not only putting you, as the woman, into the most disadvantageous position (seeming needy) but also ruining the feminine/masculine polarity right from the start.
By “leaning in” during the dating process with a man, you’re asking too much, wanting too much, and needing too much.
Masculine men don’t like women who control the dating game because they feel powerless in such a dynamic.
When you lean in—dictating where and when you’re seeing each other next, paying the bills, directing the dating dynamic — you also teach men about who’s in charge here.
Trust me, you don’t want a man who’ll blindly follow what you tell him to do. You might think that’s what you want, but the reality is that you soon will stop respecting such a man who dances to your flute, who doesn’t have a spine and can’t make his own decisions.
You’ll start resenting the man who can’t lead the dating dynamic forward because you won’t feel chosen, cherished or taken care of.
You’re not alone and you don’t need to feel guilty for feeling it. Most women feel the same way. I felt the same way with a man I was about to marry.
So how do you date differently?
You lean back.
Instead of the constant chase after the right man, you allow men to come to you so that you can choose the right one FOR YOU.
Instead of planning and organising and paying for dates, you allow for the men to do that for you.
Instead of constantly thinking about “where is this going?” or “why is he not calling?” you focus on your own life and on dating 3 men at a time (aka the dating funnel.)
When you know how to lean back this way, everything changes.
You start to attract all the right men because you’re not operating from a “please love me” scarcity/limiting beliefs mindset.
You’re becoming curious about each and every man you attract because you’re not attached to a specific outcome with a specific man. And you’re not willing to accept breadcrumbs.
Now that’s a powerful position to be in as woman dating.