Why I said NO to a $20,000 client
Listen to this post as an episode on the Claimed Podcast
This morning I sent a voice not to a prospective $20,000 client asking her to consider whether she really wants and needs this.
She said “yes” a few months ago but it was never the right time to actually sit down and take care of the payment. Finances are tough, times are stressful. She knows she needs and wants this but something is not allowing her to go fully in. And so every interaction has just been postponing the final step.
I felt and sensed it all but I didn’t bring it up. After one last call where we have confirmed everything, I got another message asking about different payment terms and different call time availability. This is where I knew something was off.
So I did my embodiment practice and further solidified my boundaries and internally had to let this client go. After my own practice, I sent her a loving message inviting her to sit with the question whether she really wants and needs this and if this is not the right time, it’s okay, we can just let this go for now. No hard feelings — we can still be friends.
This is new for me because in the past whenever there was an opportunity to get a client and make money, I would take it no matter what unless I could clearly see that I can’t help this client or they are bad shit crazy. But if the client was a good fit for me and my container, I would do whatever it takes to get them on board and take their money.
And in scenarios where I could feel like they were “one foot in, one foot out” I would still push for it because I thought I knew better what they need and because… well, because I wanted and needed the cash.
The old paradigm was that if a client is a good fit and you know they really need what you’ve got — enrol them no matter what. Even if they do not know or fully understand it yet. And maybe this is the way to go for certain people in specific scenarios but not for me and not at where I’m at now.
You see, I want my relationship with my clients to be fully consensual and where both parties sense a full body YES.
Just like I want my relationship with a man to be like. Gone are the days where I would settle for whoever would take me.
Imagine a man telling you “I really like you and want to be in a relationship with you BUT I’ve got some time conflicts I gotta deal with as well as some financial issues that are stressing me out so is there any room for movements for our dates times and our timeline?”
With love and compassion, I’m not available for that. It sounds like this is really not the right time for you and maybe I’m not the right person for you to be in a relationship with at this point in time.
And that’s okay.
This particular prospective client is also my dear friend. How does the fact that we are girlfriends affect this dynamic? Am I more open in this dynamic to set this boundary or actually more closed off?
Not sure but this situation is definitely teaching me something important.
What I do know for sure is that I’m available for a relationship that is clean and exciting. A relationship where both of us are ready, willing and available to be in this engagement fully. I want this dynamic to feel this way in both in my romantic and working relationships.
“I’m fully in. Are you? If not, I invite you to explore what is this about for you and if this is not the right time for you or I’m not the right person for you, that’s okay” is the energy I want to hold in my coaching container.
Once I set that boundary, I immediately stand taller and respected myself so much more. I also potentially got rid of a lot of problems and “one foot in, one foot out” issues down the line.
But that’s what comes with boundaries: you gotta be ready to deal with consequences and repercussions.
The repercussions of that boundary setting is that I’m losing income and, potentially, a friend (although, I’m pretty sure we’re both mature enough to not let this instance affect our friendship.)
How could I say NO to $20,000?
I’m getting past the scarcity mentality. I’m getting past the stupid fear that there is no one else who will want to work with me. What is this irrational fear? Where is this coming from? Not only I’ve proven to myself multiple times that it is not true but I’ve also enrolled and coached more than 600 women in my previous container before.
So, Anna, what the fuck?! Where is this doubt coming from? Time to fucking grow up.
Old stories and paradigms. Old fears and beliefs. Old bullshit that doesn’t serve me anymore.
I know there are plenty of women who really need and want this work and this container and I’m available and open to work with them.
Those who are not ready are just not ready yet (and maybe will never be) and I gotta let them go.
I’ve got a model that allows me to say NO to the wrong ones and say YES to the ones who I’m excited to work with and who are ready, willing and available to work with me!
And I’ve defiantly made the mistake in the past of saying YES to the wrong client and that has hurt me down the line.
So let’s do, this shall we? Let’s say YES to opportunities that are exciting and clean so that we can show up to do our work feeling full and ready to serve.
